Introducing Rantastic Barbara Rae…

21 Dec

Hi everyone (or no one as is currently the case),

I’m Barbara, And today I want to talk to you about how I am the laziest person on the planet.

No really. I am. I have been sitting here intending to do all kinds of mundane tasks to make my life just a little bit more comfortable– you know, clothes washing, room cleaning, crap like that. But it’s really hard to do something when I really, REALLY feel like doing nothing.

Instead of doing something I have been sitting here on my unmade bed adding hundreds of items to my amazon wish list (so much fun). Items I will never be able to afford…. well that’s a lie. Pretty sure that SOME DAY I will be able to afford the $8.00 hair snoods I put on the list. But there are items on that thing from the snoods to a custom made minicooper, to a 1957 Buick. There are at least 120 retro and rockabilly dresses, pants, skirts, and tops. I absolutely must have them all.

And the thing about it is– none of this stuff matters, you know. I have a lovely 18 year old daughter who no longer lives with me. This will be my first Christmas without her… and I’m really quite depressed about it. I’m trying not to be, I understand birds have to fly the nest… yada, yada, yada. But damn it– aside from missing her I am left without a personality. I’m a widow. Was married my entire life– since I was 16. Was widowed at 31. That left me feeling as though my place in the world had been ripped out from under me. My daughter growing up is just another one of those things.

I wonder if I’ll ever get my act together? I wonder if I’ll ever get out of my depression? I wonder if I’ll ever get the clothes washed and my room clean?

… to find out tune in to the next edition of… But What Do I Know?

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